Both of you longtime readers may recall my little memory device for remembering which bathroom sponge is to be used for which purpose. For you newcomers, here's a previous rundown:
- Mr. Blue, he cleans your poo!
- Mr. Yellah, he's a sink cleanin' fellah!
- And so on...
Unfortunately, as I learned this past week, my whole scheme falls apart when Mr. Pink gets involved. Is it:
- Mr. Pink, he cleans your sink!
- Or -- Mr. Pink, he cleans your stink!
Sadly, I couldn't remember Mr. Pink's previous use -- so he immediately gets demoted to toilet duty. My apologies, there, pinkie....
Other longtime readers may recall the heated "Zap" vs. "Zep" grout cleaner debate. A few years back, Casa de Subdivided had some grout that was in serious need of a cleansin'. A quick trip to Home Despot revealed two suitors vying for my grout-cleaning love -- Zap and Zep. Which was better? We resolved to purchase both and put 'em to the test.
The results? Both proved equally (moderately) effective. But more importantly, both left a lasting memory with yours truly -- stinging, blistered hands, and all because I failed to "follow directions" and "wear gloves," in spite of the fact that both contained a miracle concoction that I like to call "hydrochloric acid." Ah well, you live you "learn."
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Since it's now a new year, and another birthday has now gone past for yours truly (turned 42 on January 2), it seems an appropriate time to make a few resolutions.
I have two:
As of today, I will no longer be paying attention to celebrity news of any sort. I came to this decision a few weeks back, when I realized that I could name Wilmer Valderrama's last two girlfriends. It disturbed me that portions of my brain were being used to house this information. And I grew even more disturbed when I realized that another portion of my brain was being used to actually know who Wilmer Valderrama is.
So go on ahead without me, celebrity news. While it pains me to know that I'll be missing out on the upcoming drama of Britney Spears' upcoming divorce from ol' whatshisname, and her subsequent marriage to an aardvark in a secret Kabalah ritual, I'll just have to do without.
One exception, just to prove that I'm a total hypocrite when it comes to this sort of thing -- I wouldn't miss the upcoming Jacko circus for the world. Other than that, though, celebrities will have to make do without my attention in ought-five. Unless, of course, I become a celebrity myself, which is highly possible as soon as I discover the talent for which I should be celebrated. At that point, I'll want to keep up with what my peers are doing.
Oh, and the other resolution is to drop a few pounds. Make that 20. A few years back, after departing from that last crap-hole of a job, I got myself down to a lean, mean 165 lbs, and never felt better.
Unfortunately, that's all back and then some. And really, 185+ on a 5'10" frame ain't all that bad, I know. But I was born to be a skinny guy. My entire body really feels it when I'm carrying what I'm carrying right now. I can feel that tingling in my back that eventually added up to a herniated disc last time around. Ugh. Not going there again. Diet begins...well...tomorrow. Going out for a birthday lunch today.
Clearly I have a WILL OF IRON.
I really should comment on the non-events of the past week of Mary Worth, but...eh, why bother. Please, dear lords of Santa Royale, PLEASE let there be a plot twist soon.
i'm happy to hear that mary is not a celebrity on your list - seeing as how she's um, a drawing. somebody needs to keep track of what she's up to. happy birthday mr. sub & happy new year everybody!
Posted by: jet | January 03, 2005 at 10:28 AM
I know what are you talking about.I have the same problems with herniated disc treatment and it is very unpleasant!
Posted by: steven davies | February 19, 2008 at 02:39 PM